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【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.
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【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.
[ It takes her a moment to actually register that Rakka's talking about her eyes in particular and isn't just giving a generic pickup line. She's actually about to laud the girl for how smoothly she delivered that line...until the realization finally hits her that Rakka's talking about her. Minako blushes furiously, taken aback and, for once, at a loss for words. ]
R-R-Rakka-chan!! Y-You can't just say stuff like that so freely...those kinds of lines are dangerous! Super dangerous!!
[ Minako may flirt shamelessly, but it's always so embarrassing when the tables are turned on her. When she had agreed to help Rakka with dating, she hadn't expected for the girl to be good at it. She had simply been fooling around, but...to hear Rakka give that earnest compliment, her heart can't help but flutter. She clears her throat, trying to regain her composure. ]
B-But it was a pretty good line, s-so...I'll reward you with a B+!
R-R-Rakka-chan!! Y-You can't just say stuff like that so freely...those kinds of lines are dangerous! Super dangerous!!
[ Minako may flirt shamelessly, but it's always so embarrassing when the tables are turned on her. When she had agreed to help Rakka with dating, she hadn't expected for the girl to be good at it. She had simply been fooling around, but...to hear Rakka give that earnest compliment, her heart can't help but flutter. She clears her throat, trying to regain her composure. ]
B-But it was a pretty good line, s-so...I'll reward you with a B+!
[Of course she's referring to Minako! She's the only other person in this room! Not that Rakka thought too much of it at the moment she came up with the line- she had been grasping at straws at best before, but perhaps just being honest would suffice?
And... it did? Though Minako was looking rather red.]
A B+? That's... great! Thank you! [She thinks. Who knew she was getting graded on her flirting skills. A little bit of earnest kindness could go a long way, which was something Rakka could conjure in spades.]
Okay! [She balls her fists, determination riding on this apparently good grade she received.] What's next?
And... it did? Though Minako was looking rather red.]
A B+? That's... great! Thank you! [She thinks. Who knew she was getting graded on her flirting skills. A little bit of earnest kindness could go a long way, which was something Rakka could conjure in spades.]
Okay! [She balls her fists, determination riding on this apparently good grade she received.] What's next?
[Is his whole face red yet? He feels like it probably is. Very, very red.]
I... don't know why you would want someone as ordinary as me, but it would be an honor...
[His heart is skipping in happiness, but it slows down a little bit as he registers the last words she says.]
Why would it be a problem, though? [It isn't him, is it? Maizono said she wanted him to be her soulmate, so... It can't something he's done, can it? He can't help voicing his concern anyway.] Is there... something wrong with me being your soulmate?
I... don't know why you would want someone as ordinary as me, but it would be an honor...
[His heart is skipping in happiness, but it slows down a little bit as he registers the last words she says.]
Why would it be a problem, though? [It isn't him, is it? Maizono said she wanted him to be her soulmate, so... It can't something he's done, can it? He can't help voicing his concern anyway.] Is there... something wrong with me being your soulmate?
Um...
[ Hell, what is next? She had been too flustered to even think of another "lesson" because she hadn't thought that Rakka would pass the first one. Of course, Minako's not going to admit that, so she's quick to come up with off the top of her head. ]
N-Next is body language...! It's good to have pickup lines, but unless you have the body language to go with it, then your flirting is practically useless!
[ Hell, what is next? She had been too flustered to even think of another "lesson" because she hadn't thought that Rakka would pass the first one. Of course, Minako's not going to admit that, so she's quick to come up with off the top of her head. ]
N-Next is body language...! It's good to have pickup lines, but unless you have the body language to go with it, then your flirting is practically useless!
No, no! There's nothing wrong with you, Naegi-kun. It's just...um...
[ Alright, she's going in for it! This is the most forward thing that she's probably ever going to say, and she's a little embarrassed, but no turning back now. ]
If we are truly soulmates, then wouldn't it be problematic if we both were to...see different people? For example, if you suddenly got a girlfriend, Naegi-kun...
[ Alright, she's going in for it! This is the most forward thing that she's probably ever going to say, and she's a little embarrassed, but no turning back now. ]
If we are truly soulmates, then wouldn't it be problematic if we both were to...see different people? For example, if you suddenly got a girlfriend, Naegi-kun...
[Truth be told she had no idea what to expect, what the outcome would be as she spilled all of those facts, watching as Ruruka listened and mulled them over, her expression restrained with only slight inflections of wavering. Perhaps she shouldn't have been all that shocked that this wasn't a gushy, tearful reconciliation, such things never suited the confectioner. Even with her own boyfriend Seiko had seen the girl let the mask drop, though she supposed she had no idea if it ever slipped when no one else was looking besides Izayoi. Was it really any wonder even now the word 'sorry' was not being brought into conversation, even if a mistake had been found?]
[Then again, that was perhaps part of the problem to begin with. Ruruka had never trusted her enough to show any weakness. Did she think she would be judged by the pharmacist, belittled? Did she have so little faith in her supposed best friend that she didn't expect support and understanding? Of course Seiko had no idea that her own talent had done such a number on the others girls self confidence, and so could not fathom why she would close off so much from her, even when they had been on good terms.]
[Still, she let her go on her little tangent, gaze narrowing but not interrupting or bringing up an argument. It was progress after all, and besides that she really didn't want to get tangled up in a messy discussion about Naegi Makoto's guilt when there was no way they'd ever get real answers. One dangerous debate was enough at a time, and they couldn't very well impact what was now a world, a life behind them. But, as they were stuck together anyway, it seemed reasonable to at least try and hash out, if only to kill time and get some things they had been burdened with. And so far they had addressed some issues, albeit with some sugary sidestepping of blame, but by now Seiko was tired enough to take whatever she could get.]
We can agree on that much.
[As if she would ever do something to hurt innocent people, let alone Ruruka! Really, how could she had thought so badly of her?! And on top of that, how could she not see how her relationship with their superiors was not really what she was looking for? After all, all she had really wanted was...]
I didn't need someone 'backing me'. I needed a friend...I needed my best friend.
[Then again, that was perhaps part of the problem to begin with. Ruruka had never trusted her enough to show any weakness. Did she think she would be judged by the pharmacist, belittled? Did she have so little faith in her supposed best friend that she didn't expect support and understanding? Of course Seiko had no idea that her own talent had done such a number on the others girls self confidence, and so could not fathom why she would close off so much from her, even when they had been on good terms.]
[Still, she let her go on her little tangent, gaze narrowing but not interrupting or bringing up an argument. It was progress after all, and besides that she really didn't want to get tangled up in a messy discussion about Naegi Makoto's guilt when there was no way they'd ever get real answers. One dangerous debate was enough at a time, and they couldn't very well impact what was now a world, a life behind them. But, as they were stuck together anyway, it seemed reasonable to at least try and hash out, if only to kill time and get some things they had been burdened with. And so far they had addressed some issues, albeit with some sugary sidestepping of blame, but by now Seiko was tired enough to take whatever she could get.]
We can agree on that much.
[As if she would ever do something to hurt innocent people, let alone Ruruka! Really, how could she had thought so badly of her?! And on top of that, how could she not see how her relationship with their superiors was not really what she was looking for? After all, all she had really wanted was...]
I didn't need someone 'backing me'. I needed a friend...I needed my best friend.
[ "Best friend." It's a phrase that shouldn't affect her, a phrase that should mean nothing coming from the person she despised, but...it does. It stings, and it resurfaces that lingering guilt, rueful thoughts flood in her mind wondering what went wrong between them, and why...? Why did everything have to go wrong? Why couldn't they go back to the old days where they were young and happy and friends...?
She remembers the day that they first met. That cold, rainy day that had marked the start of their friendship. She was so impressed when she saw Seiko's medicine at work for the first time, and even if she hadn't been able to save both dogs, it didn't matter to Ruruka. Just the fact that she was able to save one and return it from the brink of death had been all it took for her to admire the girl, to call her a friend. She had even made it official by giving her one of her candies - a ritual she had, until that moment, shared with only one person.
But then, she had found out that her friend couldn't enjoy her sweets. She remembers that day, too - she had been sitting on a park bench with Izayoi's head resting in her lap like always when she had spotted the girl foraging around for something, and her eyes lit up when she saw her again that she invited her over to join them in eating her treats...and then, Seiko told her that she couldn't have sugar. It was a reason that Ruruka understood, but it didn't mean it hurt any less to know that her friend couldn't indulge in her pride and joy, in the one thing she was able to do. She had felt saddened, but then Seiko had promised her that in exchange she would fulfill any request she had, and at the time Ruruka thought it was a fair exchange.
So, where did it go wrong...? The event at the exams had only been the final piece to the puzzle; it couldn't nearly have been the catalyst for their ruinous friendship. It was just an out for both of them, something that allowed them to walk away, but for what? To hold a bitter grudge against each other for the rest of their days? Or would it have been better for them to remain friends? No matter how many ways she looked at it, it seemed that neither possibility would yield in a positive outcome, and Ruruka just didn't know why everything went sour.
...Well, that was a lie. She knew why. It was just she never wanted to admit it to herself until now, where she had no other choice but to face her problems head on. Perhaps that was the reason she was here with Seiko, and not Izayoi. There was no running away from her guilt because Seiko would not absolve her of her blame like Izayoi did; Seiko would not enable her behavior and forgive her for doing things she knew was morally wrong and tell her it was okay.
And...maybe that was just what she needed. Maybe she did need to come to terms with what she had done, rather than suppressing her emotions to the point where they had become her own undoing. Maybe someone like her couldn't find redemption, but maybe she could find some semblance of peace. ]
...Well, what about me? What did you think I needed?
[ The question is low and sounds like she's gritting it through her teeth, but she at least makes it audible enough. ]
...It's not like I wanted things to go wrong between us either. I thought of you as my best friend, too, you know! I was happy just being able to rely on you! You would always do anything I asked, but I could never do anything in return for you!
[ She pauses with a shaky breath. She's never opened up about her inhibitions before, and the fact that she's finally revealing them to Seiko makes it even harder for her. ]
The only thing I can do is bake sweets...but you would never eat anything I made! You refused to acknowledge the only thing I was good at! How do you think that made me feel?! You never once considered how I felt every time you refused my sweets!
She remembers the day that they first met. That cold, rainy day that had marked the start of their friendship. She was so impressed when she saw Seiko's medicine at work for the first time, and even if she hadn't been able to save both dogs, it didn't matter to Ruruka. Just the fact that she was able to save one and return it from the brink of death had been all it took for her to admire the girl, to call her a friend. She had even made it official by giving her one of her candies - a ritual she had, until that moment, shared with only one person.
But then, she had found out that her friend couldn't enjoy her sweets. She remembers that day, too - she had been sitting on a park bench with Izayoi's head resting in her lap like always when she had spotted the girl foraging around for something, and her eyes lit up when she saw her again that she invited her over to join them in eating her treats...and then, Seiko told her that she couldn't have sugar. It was a reason that Ruruka understood, but it didn't mean it hurt any less to know that her friend couldn't indulge in her pride and joy, in the one thing she was able to do. She had felt saddened, but then Seiko had promised her that in exchange she would fulfill any request she had, and at the time Ruruka thought it was a fair exchange.
So, where did it go wrong...? The event at the exams had only been the final piece to the puzzle; it couldn't nearly have been the catalyst for their ruinous friendship. It was just an out for both of them, something that allowed them to walk away, but for what? To hold a bitter grudge against each other for the rest of their days? Or would it have been better for them to remain friends? No matter how many ways she looked at it, it seemed that neither possibility would yield in a positive outcome, and Ruruka just didn't know why everything went sour.
...Well, that was a lie. She knew why. It was just she never wanted to admit it to herself until now, where she had no other choice but to face her problems head on. Perhaps that was the reason she was here with Seiko, and not Izayoi. There was no running away from her guilt because Seiko would not absolve her of her blame like Izayoi did; Seiko would not enable her behavior and forgive her for doing things she knew was morally wrong and tell her it was okay.
And...maybe that was just what she needed. Maybe she did need to come to terms with what she had done, rather than suppressing her emotions to the point where they had become her own undoing. Maybe someone like her couldn't find redemption, but maybe she could find some semblance of peace. ]
...Well, what about me? What did you think I needed?
[ The question is low and sounds like she's gritting it through her teeth, but she at least makes it audible enough. ]
...It's not like I wanted things to go wrong between us either. I thought of you as my best friend, too, you know! I was happy just being able to rely on you! You would always do anything I asked, but I could never do anything in return for you!
[ She pauses with a shaky breath. She's never opened up about her inhibitions before, and the fact that she's finally revealing them to Seiko makes it even harder for her. ]
The only thing I can do is bake sweets...but you would never eat anything I made! You refused to acknowledge the only thing I was good at! How do you think that made me feel?! You never once considered how I felt every time you refused my sweets!
[You've got to think of something now, Minako. There's a fire blazing in Rakka's eyes. She finally feels like she's on the right track towards something. What, exactly it was remained to be seen.]
Body... language? Then, you mean my body's supposed to say something too?
[But she can only come up with so many pickup lines!!]
Body... language? Then, you mean my body's supposed to say something too?
[But she can only come up with so many pickup lines!!]
You think so?
[ Again, another rhetorical question, but it's one she leaves unanswered as Mion grabs onto the controller's stick, nodding as she decides to select a character. Definitely going for the badass female here. ]
Alright, I'm 100% ready!
[ Again, another rhetorical question, but it's one she leaves unanswered as Mion grabs onto the controller's stick, nodding as she decides to select a character. Definitely going for the badass female here. ]
Alright, I'm 100% ready!
Okay. Then, let's start.
[ Nanami selects her character as well and chooses to randomize the fighting stage. Once the stage is set up with both characters on either side, a countdown appears in the middle of the screen with an announcer shouting each number. "3...2...1...fight!" The moment that her character is allowed to move, Nanami takes the offensive approach and begins with a kick. ]
[ Nanami selects her character as well and chooses to randomize the fighting stage. Once the stage is set up with both characters on either side, a countdown appears in the middle of the screen with an announcer shouting each number. "3...2...1...fight!" The moment that her character is allowed to move, Nanami takes the offensive approach and begins with a kick. ]
[No matter how far she had believed she had come, no matter how deeply she had tried to bury all that had reminded her of those that betrayed her, Seiko found she could not let those first two meetings go. They had haunted her, right until her dying breath, the last flickering memory that she had desperately wanted to take refuge in as she sank into despair. The good and the bad had become meshed and muddled, leaving her unable to distinguish what it meant to her anymore.]
[She was tired, so tired of all of it, the bickering and the fighting and the way the old wounds never seemed to close. At one point she had blamed the two of them, constantly coming back into her life to tear the stitches open and make her suffer just when she was within reach of letting go. That was a lie though; they had never truly healed. The cuts had dug deeper and deeper over the years when their friendship became corrupted, the exam just being the final stab that had left them open, gaping and oozing. And that is how they had remained for all those years. Even with all her skill and talent, it had been an ailment she had never been able to treat. She had just allowed herself to numb and ignore it, until the game had started, forcing her to acknowledge every thrumming beat of pain in one manic outburst and a possible overdose of enhancement pills.]
[Now though, surely she was spent, and wouldn't be able to feel anything else. She was dead after all. However, hearing Ruruka speak up, a look of genuine disbelief and shock appeared in her eyes. She had felt...because she couldn't...what?]
You didn't need to. [The words left her without a second thought or pause, perhaps more open and vulnerable than she should have allowed, but she couldn't help it. She was sure it had been apparent she had never asked for anything because she was content as things were, so why feel bad about it? After all, there was truly only one thing she had desired, and that wish had been granted the instant the other girl had spoken up to her on that rainy day, and then again on that park bench.] You were my friend, that was all I ever wanted from you, I didn't need you to do anything else. I just...wanted to be friends with you. I thought you understood that-...
[Apparently not, but before she found herself able to go further, the confectioner rambled on, halting her mid sentence, mid thought. All those little sprouts of concern began to wither once more. She just had to bring that up didn't she? She always did. Was it to make her feel bad? Some sort of punishment? Of course she knew how unfair it all was, and for a long time she regretted being forced to deny Ruruka what she desired more than anything, hence why she worked twice as hard with ever other request. It seemed so obvious, and in truth she might have been able to accept this as a mistake on her part, except for the circumstances that prevented such a thing. She knew, they both did, why she had always refused the sweets. Kimura had always been honest about that, it was out of her control. And yet Ruruka had the gall to act as if she had been acting out of spite!]
I told you...over and over and over, how many times do I have to say it?! I didn't have a choice! ! couldn't eat them! I would have died! Don't you think I would have eaten them if I had been able to?!
[It was unclear when and how she had managed too get back up on her feet, stepping forward and baring down on her old classmate, one fist clenched as the other went to her face. The mask was stifling, she needed to pull it down, baring her teeth in a scowl while the mental wire and brackets of her braces glinted with menace. She could feel it, just when she was sure all the anger inside had burned out, her dear friend managed to stoke the embers of the dying flame back to life anew. And it hurt, it really hurt, and she intended to make sure Ruruka knew it.]
Or...was that really it? Was that what it would have taken for you to trust me? No matter what I did, not matter how hard I tried to make you happy by doing everything you asked, you'd never be satisfied until I killed myself for you?!
[It had all been futile. She knew that now. It was all in vain, pointless, a waste of time. She had pushed herself so hard, desperately trying to do something, anything that would have earned Ruruka's friendship. Not the fake sugary smile and bubbly little remarks of thanks about how she was the best, an exaggerated put on to wear her down those few times she had resisted, questioned, tried to tell her no. No, she had been waiting for that same look, that same smile and gentle, even kind tone that she knew the girl had once possessed long ago to return. That honest, sincere appreciation as she had declared them friends that day in the park. Comparing her to the bitter, sour person before her now, Kimura had begun to wonder if it had all been in her imagination, if she had built it all up in her mind over the years to mean more than it had to justify her loyalty, to stop herself going mad at the realization she had thrown her life away to a person who never even existed.]
[And yet, even now as she stood there, staring back at the confectioner, burning and angry, she still caught herself scanning the others eyes a flicker of that phantom girl that had once made her so happy by just declaring they were friends. But she was no where to be seen, of course.]
It was never enough, it was never going to be enough was it? No matter what I did...I was just someone you could use.
[She was tired, so tired of all of it, the bickering and the fighting and the way the old wounds never seemed to close. At one point she had blamed the two of them, constantly coming back into her life to tear the stitches open and make her suffer just when she was within reach of letting go. That was a lie though; they had never truly healed. The cuts had dug deeper and deeper over the years when their friendship became corrupted, the exam just being the final stab that had left them open, gaping and oozing. And that is how they had remained for all those years. Even with all her skill and talent, it had been an ailment she had never been able to treat. She had just allowed herself to numb and ignore it, until the game had started, forcing her to acknowledge every thrumming beat of pain in one manic outburst and a possible overdose of enhancement pills.]
[Now though, surely she was spent, and wouldn't be able to feel anything else. She was dead after all. However, hearing Ruruka speak up, a look of genuine disbelief and shock appeared in her eyes. She had felt...because she couldn't...what?]
You didn't need to. [The words left her without a second thought or pause, perhaps more open and vulnerable than she should have allowed, but she couldn't help it. She was sure it had been apparent she had never asked for anything because she was content as things were, so why feel bad about it? After all, there was truly only one thing she had desired, and that wish had been granted the instant the other girl had spoken up to her on that rainy day, and then again on that park bench.] You were my friend, that was all I ever wanted from you, I didn't need you to do anything else. I just...wanted to be friends with you. I thought you understood that-...
[Apparently not, but before she found herself able to go further, the confectioner rambled on, halting her mid sentence, mid thought. All those little sprouts of concern began to wither once more. She just had to bring that up didn't she? She always did. Was it to make her feel bad? Some sort of punishment? Of course she knew how unfair it all was, and for a long time she regretted being forced to deny Ruruka what she desired more than anything, hence why she worked twice as hard with ever other request. It seemed so obvious, and in truth she might have been able to accept this as a mistake on her part, except for the circumstances that prevented such a thing. She knew, they both did, why she had always refused the sweets. Kimura had always been honest about that, it was out of her control. And yet Ruruka had the gall to act as if she had been acting out of spite!]
I told you...over and over and over, how many times do I have to say it?! I didn't have a choice! ! couldn't eat them! I would have died! Don't you think I would have eaten them if I had been able to?!
[It was unclear when and how she had managed too get back up on her feet, stepping forward and baring down on her old classmate, one fist clenched as the other went to her face. The mask was stifling, she needed to pull it down, baring her teeth in a scowl while the mental wire and brackets of her braces glinted with menace. She could feel it, just when she was sure all the anger inside had burned out, her dear friend managed to stoke the embers of the dying flame back to life anew. And it hurt, it really hurt, and she intended to make sure Ruruka knew it.]
Or...was that really it? Was that what it would have taken for you to trust me? No matter what I did, not matter how hard I tried to make you happy by doing everything you asked, you'd never be satisfied until I killed myself for you?!
[It had all been futile. She knew that now. It was all in vain, pointless, a waste of time. She had pushed herself so hard, desperately trying to do something, anything that would have earned Ruruka's friendship. Not the fake sugary smile and bubbly little remarks of thanks about how she was the best, an exaggerated put on to wear her down those few times she had resisted, questioned, tried to tell her no. No, she had been waiting for that same look, that same smile and gentle, even kind tone that she knew the girl had once possessed long ago to return. That honest, sincere appreciation as she had declared them friends that day in the park. Comparing her to the bitter, sour person before her now, Kimura had begun to wonder if it had all been in her imagination, if she had built it all up in her mind over the years to mean more than it had to justify her loyalty, to stop herself going mad at the realization she had thrown her life away to a person who never even existed.]
[And yet, even now as she stood there, staring back at the confectioner, burning and angry, she still caught herself scanning the others eyes a flicker of that phantom girl that had once made her so happy by just declaring they were friends. But she was no where to be seen, of course.]
It was never enough, it was never going to be enough was it? No matter what I did...I was just someone you could use.
Edited 2016-12-08 01:30 (UTC)
you outloved the hang on can I actually make a pun out of this
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charcoalfeather
2016-12-08 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
... That's a good point. [It all clicks with her. Mostly. Kind of. At least one of them is assured right now, though perhaps it's too soon to say the balance has shifted.
Her hands cross over her chest as she thinks this through.]
But still, I'm not sure I... Oh. Maybe you can show me how it's done, Minako.
Her hands cross over her chest as she thinks this through.]
But still, I'm not sure I... Oh. Maybe you can show me how it's done, Minako.
[ "That's not true," a part of her wants to say, but...even she knows that she can't deny that. Perhaps at one point in time that wasn't true - when they were children whose friendship was pure and untainted - but in their later years, when their friendship grew into something corrupt and unrecognizable, Seiko eventually had become someone that she could use. Where her favors had initially been genuine and a sign of trust for the pharmacist, they had gradually become something that Ruruka took advantage of. Asking Seiko for her medicine had long since stopped eliciting happiness and appreciation from her because she knew that Seiko would always do what she asked; even the resistance the girl would occasionally put up would ultimately turn into submission.
And it just wasn't gratifying at all. Asking Seiko for favors was an entirely different feeling than when she asked Izayoi for favors - perhaps because her relationship with her boyfriend was the give-and-take relationship that she yearned for with Seiko. Any time Izayoi did anything for her, she could always reward him with her sweets - a sign of her gratitude; after all, she put so much time and effort into everything she baked that she felt it was more sufficient than the simple words "thank you" - and to hear his affirmations of how "dewicious" they were and see the radiance of his face, something that only she could detect in his otherwise stoic countenance, as he indulged in them was all that she could ever ask for. That was all she wanted - someone who made her feel like she had worth, someone who made her feel like she had something she could be proud of, someone who would revel in her pride and joy - and no matter how much Seiko gave her, she could never give her the one thing that she longed for. No matter what or how much Ruruka asked her for, it would never fill the void of the only thing she wanted from her friend: assurance.
...Which makes her falter at the girl's question: would Seiko killing herself finally give her what she wanted? She honestly couldn't say. It was a question that made her feel conflicted; on one hand, she would be happy that Seiko at least tried her sweets instead of declining them like always, but on the other hand...she wouldn't want to see her friend die before her eyes. Even when she and Izayoi confronted her that day with the intention to kill her, a part of her didn't want Seiko to die. She didn't wish ill on the pharmacist at all; no matter how much she would berate her and call her a traitor, she always regretted the way that things turned out between them and yearned for everything to return to the way it was when they had been children. ]
Well, there's nothing stopping you now, is there.
[ It's not a question; it's more of an accusation, as if she still thinks that Seiko is fishing for excuses, fabricating reasons to turn down her sweets. It wouldn't be wrong to say that either. In her mind, if Seiko truly would have eaten her sweets if she had the ability, then what better time to prove it than now since they were both dead? This was the moment for Seiko to prove that she had truly considered her a friend like she claimed. She crosses her arms, glaring up at Seiko, unperturbed by the fact that the girl had been yelling at her moments ago. It's a wonder that she's not yelling back, really. ]
You're fully capable of eating my sweets now. Or are you going to blame it on your medicine again? [ Here, she does an impression of Seiko, not at all hiding the fact that she's mocking the girl: ] "O-Oh...I'm so sorry, Ruruka. I-I can't eat your sweets b-because it reacts badly with my medicine...i-if I eat them, I'll die!"
[ She gives an exaggerated sigh and rolls her eyes. ]
Honestly, I'm so sick of hearing that excuse. If you're going to make one up this time to explain why you can't, the least you can do is make it original. [ She scoffs and shakes her head. ] Unless you want to delude yourself into thinking that the dead is capable of having allergic reactions and dying a second time, then be my guest. It wouldn't be the first time you came up with something so far-fetched.
And it just wasn't gratifying at all. Asking Seiko for favors was an entirely different feeling than when she asked Izayoi for favors - perhaps because her relationship with her boyfriend was the give-and-take relationship that she yearned for with Seiko. Any time Izayoi did anything for her, she could always reward him with her sweets - a sign of her gratitude; after all, she put so much time and effort into everything she baked that she felt it was more sufficient than the simple words "thank you" - and to hear his affirmations of how "dewicious" they were and see the radiance of his face, something that only she could detect in his otherwise stoic countenance, as he indulged in them was all that she could ever ask for. That was all she wanted - someone who made her feel like she had worth, someone who made her feel like she had something she could be proud of, someone who would revel in her pride and joy - and no matter how much Seiko gave her, she could never give her the one thing that she longed for. No matter what or how much Ruruka asked her for, it would never fill the void of the only thing she wanted from her friend: assurance.
...Which makes her falter at the girl's question: would Seiko killing herself finally give her what she wanted? She honestly couldn't say. It was a question that made her feel conflicted; on one hand, she would be happy that Seiko at least tried her sweets instead of declining them like always, but on the other hand...she wouldn't want to see her friend die before her eyes. Even when she and Izayoi confronted her that day with the intention to kill her, a part of her didn't want Seiko to die. She didn't wish ill on the pharmacist at all; no matter how much she would berate her and call her a traitor, she always regretted the way that things turned out between them and yearned for everything to return to the way it was when they had been children. ]
Well, there's nothing stopping you now, is there.
[ It's not a question; it's more of an accusation, as if she still thinks that Seiko is fishing for excuses, fabricating reasons to turn down her sweets. It wouldn't be wrong to say that either. In her mind, if Seiko truly would have eaten her sweets if she had the ability, then what better time to prove it than now since they were both dead? This was the moment for Seiko to prove that she had truly considered her a friend like she claimed. She crosses her arms, glaring up at Seiko, unperturbed by the fact that the girl had been yelling at her moments ago. It's a wonder that she's not yelling back, really. ]
You're fully capable of eating my sweets now. Or are you going to blame it on your medicine again? [ Here, she does an impression of Seiko, not at all hiding the fact that she's mocking the girl: ] "O-Oh...I'm so sorry, Ruruka. I-I can't eat your sweets b-because it reacts badly with my medicine...i-if I eat them, I'll die!"
[ She gives an exaggerated sigh and rolls her eyes. ]
Honestly, I'm so sick of hearing that excuse. If you're going to make one up this time to explain why you can't, the least you can do is make it original. [ She scoffs and shakes her head. ] Unless you want to delude yourself into thinking that the dead is capable of having allergic reactions and dying a second time, then be my guest. It wouldn't be the first time you came up with something so far-fetched.
Edited 2016-12-12 21:57 (UTC)
[It was to be expected, she should have known it was coming, but the anger bubbled all the same, her mind screamed in frustration and her desire to strike the other down rose once more. She was avoiding the question, refusing to give her a straight answer, then twisting things around and throwing it all back in her face. The arrogance, the taunting of her sincere explanation and lamentation, the inability to just say they had both mistakes, it almost made her reach for a pill bottle again, not that fighting would do them any good now.]
[That being said, she wasn't wrong. There were no longer health reasons barring her from consuming sweets. Unfortunately, it was now something must worse preventing her doing so.]
No. I could... [A moment to breathe, to calm herself, looking for a flash like the awkward school girl who'd just sigh and relent, before disappearing in a flash. The person who stared back at the confectioner was far more sure of herself, regretful but firm.] ...but I don't want to.
[It would be seen as an excuse regardless of what she said, but nevertheless, it was finally time for to actually speak up. Not run away, not ignore the matter or cave it, but to be blunt and honest, even if that meant all but slapping the other Ultimate right across the across the face with words that would undoubtedly sting.]
There's no point. Anything you gave me now...I know it would taste completely sour.
[Her words were sharp, assured and unflinching, and she knew all too well they would hurt Ruruka. However, it was the truth, and her tone told that she took no pleasure in revealing that fact to her. No matter how carefully she might have prepared whatever treat she was still carrying on her now, Seiko knew she would not be able to appreciate it. She could already imagine the void where the sweetness was supposed to be, a stimulation of the taste buds she had never known due to her inability to digest sugar. Instead of the fizzing buzz of a rush, she anticipated a dull tang that would cause her features to scrunch up as she tried to swallow.]
[This was not because of any mistake on the confectioners part on the technical side of her baking, but rather the resounding impact of all that had happened. All the toil, outbursts and blame had left their friendship as little more than a husk, a baked good with no sweetness, light texture or delicious flavor, but something dry and stale that crumbled in your mouth and made you choke. Anything she was given now would be handed to her by a Ruruka that she didn't really know, one that now only offered her something to prove and point and satisfy her own wishes. She had dreamed for a long time about what it would be like if she ever got to experience the taste of sugar and what it could create, and more than anything she had wanted her first bite to be of a treat the person closest to her made, just for her to enjoy.]
[Fortunately, she did have something left by that Ruruka, the Ruruka who had been someone she trusted, the Ruruka who had given her something pure, innocent and brimming over with sweetness born of sugar and wish to forge a friendship that could possibly last forever. And so she pulled out the lone candy from her pocket, the shiny paper still somehow catching the light in a way that looked enticing, even though by now it should have lost all flavor. Yes, a sweet that she had clung on to for well over a decade, even after their falling out, would still contain all the sensations to delight her pallet, of that she was convinced, because it was given to her by her dearest friend who wanted to give a token of fondness to a sad little girl who couldn't stop crying in the rain that day.]
Good thing I kept this then. [This might not have been the assurance Ruruka was expecting, or even what she wanted, but Seiko felt this was the right thing, the best thing she could give the confectioner. This wasn't just about showing her willingness now she was dead, but how she had always been willing, ready and waiting and clutching that piece of candy like something to treasure. Because for her, it was.]
[Her first gift from her first friend, ready for the occasion when she could give the acknowledgement Ruruka wanted so badly, even if in truth she had actually had it all along. It was that candy she wanted to eat first, carefully unwrapping it and bringing it to her lips, unwavering and without hesitation, intending to let it slip into her mouth before the other girl had the chance to say anymore. Regardless of whether or not their friendship could begin anew or be put to rest, it would all end then and there one her mouth closed and she started to chew.]
[That being said, she wasn't wrong. There were no longer health reasons barring her from consuming sweets. Unfortunately, it was now something must worse preventing her doing so.]
No. I could... [A moment to breathe, to calm herself, looking for a flash like the awkward school girl who'd just sigh and relent, before disappearing in a flash. The person who stared back at the confectioner was far more sure of herself, regretful but firm.] ...but I don't want to.
[It would be seen as an excuse regardless of what she said, but nevertheless, it was finally time for to actually speak up. Not run away, not ignore the matter or cave it, but to be blunt and honest, even if that meant all but slapping the other Ultimate right across the across the face with words that would undoubtedly sting.]
There's no point. Anything you gave me now...I know it would taste completely sour.
[Her words were sharp, assured and unflinching, and she knew all too well they would hurt Ruruka. However, it was the truth, and her tone told that she took no pleasure in revealing that fact to her. No matter how carefully she might have prepared whatever treat she was still carrying on her now, Seiko knew she would not be able to appreciate it. She could already imagine the void where the sweetness was supposed to be, a stimulation of the taste buds she had never known due to her inability to digest sugar. Instead of the fizzing buzz of a rush, she anticipated a dull tang that would cause her features to scrunch up as she tried to swallow.]
[This was not because of any mistake on the confectioners part on the technical side of her baking, but rather the resounding impact of all that had happened. All the toil, outbursts and blame had left their friendship as little more than a husk, a baked good with no sweetness, light texture or delicious flavor, but something dry and stale that crumbled in your mouth and made you choke. Anything she was given now would be handed to her by a Ruruka that she didn't really know, one that now only offered her something to prove and point and satisfy her own wishes. She had dreamed for a long time about what it would be like if she ever got to experience the taste of sugar and what it could create, and more than anything she had wanted her first bite to be of a treat the person closest to her made, just for her to enjoy.]
[Fortunately, she did have something left by that Ruruka, the Ruruka who had been someone she trusted, the Ruruka who had given her something pure, innocent and brimming over with sweetness born of sugar and wish to forge a friendship that could possibly last forever. And so she pulled out the lone candy from her pocket, the shiny paper still somehow catching the light in a way that looked enticing, even though by now it should have lost all flavor. Yes, a sweet that she had clung on to for well over a decade, even after their falling out, would still contain all the sensations to delight her pallet, of that she was convinced, because it was given to her by her dearest friend who wanted to give a token of fondness to a sad little girl who couldn't stop crying in the rain that day.]
Good thing I kept this then. [This might not have been the assurance Ruruka was expecting, or even what she wanted, but Seiko felt this was the right thing, the best thing she could give the confectioner. This wasn't just about showing her willingness now she was dead, but how she had always been willing, ready and waiting and clutching that piece of candy like something to treasure. Because for her, it was.]
[Her first gift from her first friend, ready for the occasion when she could give the acknowledgement Ruruka wanted so badly, even if in truth she had actually had it all along. It was that candy she wanted to eat first, carefully unwrapping it and bringing it to her lips, unwavering and without hesitation, intending to let it slip into her mouth before the other girl had the chance to say anymore. Regardless of whether or not their friendship could begin anew or be put to rest, it would all end then and there one her mouth closed and she started to chew.]
[ The refusal is something that she both expected and didn't expect. On one hand, it wasn't uncharacteristic for Seiko to refuse her sweets; if she had accepted them, it would have come as a total shock to Ruruka. On the other hand, a part of her had been wishing that this time would be different, that this time she would finally hear her friend agree; after all, Seiko herself had admitted that she now possessed the capability to eat her sweets, and yet she was still rejecting them...?
Ruruka grits her teeth, livid at the girl's insolence; though, in retrospect, she supposes it isn't too surprising. She had always suspected that the girl thought little of her talent, thought of her as inferior, so to her, this was merely a truth that was only now coming to light. Not that it made her any less furious, but she could at least commend Seiko for finally owning up to it instead of hiding behind her excuses. If anything, this made her feel justified in distrusting Seiko, in never truly opening up to her like she would with her boyfriend. If she had, then it would have all been for naught.
Before she can open her mouth to spit back a remark, Seiko says something else that really fuels her the burning flames of her anger. Ruruka goes red in the face, fists clenched tightly in a futile effort to compose herself and restrain herself from spewing venom at the pharmacist. She had never been a physically violent person - her tongue was sharp enough that she never needed to resort to violence, and she had Izayoi to fight in her stead when it truly came down to it - but right now, she wanted nothing more than to grab the girl and...and...
...Well, it wasn't as if insulting the girl's talent like she had done to her would be effective. Seiko actually had a talent that was worthwhile, unlike her, and it was something that she hadn't taken notice of until all three of them had started attending Hope's Peak Academy. Where it had initially been sadness that her friend couldn't partake in her sweets, it quickly developed into an inferiority complex, fueled by Hope's Peak's constant pressures and reminders of the importance of talent. It was the reason why she loathed Hope's Peak Academy just as much as she loathed the Future Foundation - they both were corrupt organizations, and the former was the source of most of her insecurities by its relentless drilling that her talent defined her.
Ruruka had grown to believe that; that was why she spent so much time trying to perfect her pastries, but even then, she never felt confident enough. Why else would she go to Seiko asking her for various drugs that would enhance her sweets and ensure that she passed the practical exams every year? The one and only thing she was good at, she didn't even feel confident about. That was why Seiko's words...stung, and Ruruka didn't know how to feel. She felt angry, undoubtedly, but she also felt the crushing despair of her inhibitions as they resurfaced.
"Why...?" she wants to ask. "Why do you still refuse to eat my sweets?! Why the hell are you acting like this?!" Before she can vocalize such thoughts, however, she hears Seiko speak again, saying something that truly shocks her. Ruruka glances over to see what exactly the "this" that the girl specified was, and when she sees the girl produce the candy that she had given her all those years ago, her eyes widen and she stiffens like a deer in headlights. ] Y-You...You kept it... [ She says it shakily, voice full of incredulity. She had expected the girl to have thrown it away by now - especially after their falling out. It would have made sense if she did. She never expected for her to carry it on her person this entire time.
Then, she sees the girl put it in her mouth. For the very first time, the person she had once considered her dear friend, the person she wanted nothing else from but for her to taste her sweets, was actually eating her candy. Ruruka doesn't know how to respond, sitting there shell-shocked, and if she were alive right now, her heart would be racing inside of her chest. What she feels now is similar to that very feeling: dizzy and breathless. ]
I-I-- I don't-- [ She stammers over her words, and she's certain she sounds like an utter fool compared to the collected persona she usually tries to convey, but she's too bewildered to truly care about saving face right now. ] B-But why... Why, after all this time, would you keep it...? You had every reason to get rid of it, so why didn't you?! I thought you-- I...I don't understand...
[ The very fact that Seiko had kept this piece of candy from their first meeting all this time goes completely against everything that Ruruka had believed about the girl. ]
Ruruka grits her teeth, livid at the girl's insolence; though, in retrospect, she supposes it isn't too surprising. She had always suspected that the girl thought little of her talent, thought of her as inferior, so to her, this was merely a truth that was only now coming to light. Not that it made her any less furious, but she could at least commend Seiko for finally owning up to it instead of hiding behind her excuses. If anything, this made her feel justified in distrusting Seiko, in never truly opening up to her like she would with her boyfriend. If she had, then it would have all been for naught.
Before she can open her mouth to spit back a remark, Seiko says something else that really fuels her the burning flames of her anger. Ruruka goes red in the face, fists clenched tightly in a futile effort to compose herself and restrain herself from spewing venom at the pharmacist. She had never been a physically violent person - her tongue was sharp enough that she never needed to resort to violence, and she had Izayoi to fight in her stead when it truly came down to it - but right now, she wanted nothing more than to grab the girl and...and...
...Well, it wasn't as if insulting the girl's talent like she had done to her would be effective. Seiko actually had a talent that was worthwhile, unlike her, and it was something that she hadn't taken notice of until all three of them had started attending Hope's Peak Academy. Where it had initially been sadness that her friend couldn't partake in her sweets, it quickly developed into an inferiority complex, fueled by Hope's Peak's constant pressures and reminders of the importance of talent. It was the reason why she loathed Hope's Peak Academy just as much as she loathed the Future Foundation - they both were corrupt organizations, and the former was the source of most of her insecurities by its relentless drilling that her talent defined her.
Ruruka had grown to believe that; that was why she spent so much time trying to perfect her pastries, but even then, she never felt confident enough. Why else would she go to Seiko asking her for various drugs that would enhance her sweets and ensure that she passed the practical exams every year? The one and only thing she was good at, she didn't even feel confident about. That was why Seiko's words...stung, and Ruruka didn't know how to feel. She felt angry, undoubtedly, but she also felt the crushing despair of her inhibitions as they resurfaced.
"Why...?" she wants to ask. "Why do you still refuse to eat my sweets?! Why the hell are you acting like this?!" Before she can vocalize such thoughts, however, she hears Seiko speak again, saying something that truly shocks her. Ruruka glances over to see what exactly the "this" that the girl specified was, and when she sees the girl produce the candy that she had given her all those years ago, her eyes widen and she stiffens like a deer in headlights. ] Y-You...You kept it... [ She says it shakily, voice full of incredulity. She had expected the girl to have thrown it away by now - especially after their falling out. It would have made sense if she did. She never expected for her to carry it on her person this entire time.
Then, she sees the girl put it in her mouth. For the very first time, the person she had once considered her dear friend, the person she wanted nothing else from but for her to taste her sweets, was actually eating her candy. Ruruka doesn't know how to respond, sitting there shell-shocked, and if she were alive right now, her heart would be racing inside of her chest. What she feels now is similar to that very feeling: dizzy and breathless. ]
I-I-- I don't-- [ She stammers over her words, and she's certain she sounds like an utter fool compared to the collected persona she usually tries to convey, but she's too bewildered to truly care about saving face right now. ] B-But why... Why, after all this time, would you keep it...? You had every reason to get rid of it, so why didn't you?! I thought you-- I...I don't understand...
[ The very fact that Seiko had kept this piece of candy from their first meeting all this time goes completely against everything that Ruruka had believed about the girl. ]
[Is it funny that she's keeping all of this in mind as though there will be a test later?
And. Okay, so she wasn't expecting further invasion of personal space, and that line gets to even her.]
...Uh, whoa. You think I can pull that off?
And. Okay, so she wasn't expecting further invasion of personal space, and that line gets to even her.]
...Uh, whoa. You think I can pull that off?
[ Go, Rakka. Go off into the world with your newfound dating knowledge, and make Mina proud! ]
If I didn't think you could pull it off, I wouldn't have taught it to you, Rakka-chan!
[ And that there, folks, is the exaggeration of the century. ]
Besides, you're gonna have to pull it off if you want to successfully flirt with someone. Since this is just a practice session, you've got plenty of chances to perfect it. Now, give me your best shot, Rakka-chan!
If I didn't think you could pull it off, I wouldn't have taught it to you, Rakka-chan!
[ And that there, folks, is the exaggeration of the century. ]
Besides, you're gonna have to pull it off if you want to successfully flirt with someone. Since this is just a practice session, you've got plenty of chances to perfect it. Now, give me your best shot, Rakka-chan!
[He freezes. Physically and mentally, he freezes.
Something wells up in him, expanding in his chest. It feels like longing and fear and courage all knotted up into one sensation, and it's both exhilarating and unbearable.]
Maizono-san...
[The moment he says her name, Naegi knows. He knows that he's going to go through with it and say it. It's absolutely terrifying, and it's literally the last thing he wants to do, the fear of outright rejection sitting so heavily on his chest...
But the world is in chaos outside. And in here, every passing day is bleaker and bleaker.
If he doesn't say it now, when will he ever?]
What if you were my girlfriend?
Something wells up in him, expanding in his chest. It feels like longing and fear and courage all knotted up into one sensation, and it's both exhilarating and unbearable.]
Maizono-san...
[The moment he says her name, Naegi knows. He knows that he's going to go through with it and say it. It's absolutely terrifying, and it's literally the last thing he wants to do, the fear of outright rejection sitting so heavily on his chest...
But the world is in chaos outside. And in here, every passing day is bleaker and bleaker.
If he doesn't say it now, when will he ever?]
What if you were my girlfriend?
[ It's a question she had been expecting - after all, she had good intuition and has never once been wrong - but her anticipation didn't actually prepare her to hear him ask it. She's silent for a while, unsure of how to respond. It isn't that she doesn't want to be his girlfriend, because really, she does - right now, she's the happiest she's ever been, and she can't stop her heart from racing inside of her chest. She's happy that her feelings are reciprocated and that he truly wants her to be his girlfriend, yet...she can't help but feel hesitant on giving a definitive yes. ]
Naegi-kun...
[ She pauses for a moment, looking sheepish. It's almost as if she's uncertain of her words. ]
...It's not like I don't want to. Please don't get me wrong, I'm...really glad that you asked. I've liked you for a while, actually...ever since junior high when I saw you rescue that crane, but we never got the chance to talk, and before I knew it, we both graduated and went our separate ways. That's why I was so happy to see you here at Hope's Peak, and I'm happy that you feel the same way, but...
[ She can't help but feel scared. What if Naegi realizes that he truthfully doesn't like her? Would he still like her if he knew who she truly was? If he knew all of the terrible things she had to do to achieve and maintain the title of SHSL Idol? She can't hide it from him...well, she could, but then she would feel terrible for lying to him. She doesn't want him to like her because of the mask she wore; if he was going to like her, she wanted him to know the true her, and he deserved to know. ]
...Are you certain about this? About me?
Naegi-kun...
[ She pauses for a moment, looking sheepish. It's almost as if she's uncertain of her words. ]
...It's not like I don't want to. Please don't get me wrong, I'm...really glad that you asked. I've liked you for a while, actually...ever since junior high when I saw you rescue that crane, but we never got the chance to talk, and before I knew it, we both graduated and went our separate ways. That's why I was so happy to see you here at Hope's Peak, and I'm happy that you feel the same way, but...
[ She can't help but feel scared. What if Naegi realizes that he truthfully doesn't like her? Would he still like her if he knew who she truly was? If he knew all of the terrible things she had to do to achieve and maintain the title of SHSL Idol? She can't hide it from him...well, she could, but then she would feel terrible for lying to him. She doesn't want him to like her because of the mask she wore; if he was going to like her, she wanted him to know the true her, and he deserved to know. ]
...Are you certain about this? About me?
[She will, sensei! If sh actually gets this training over with at some point.
Speaking of which...]
Okay. I've got this.
[Rakka clears her throat, mentally preparing herself, and puts a hand on Minako's shoulder.]
Hey, beautiful. Do you come here often?
[She throws in a smile too. No stuttering this time.]
Speaking of which...]
Okay. I've got this.
[Rakka clears her throat, mentally preparing herself, and puts a hand on Minako's shoulder.]
Hey, beautiful. Do you come here often?
[She throws in a smile too. No stuttering this time.]
...I'm sure. I'm completely, absolutely certain.
[In spite of the pause, his voice leaves no room for doubt. He's red-faced, but Naegi looks at her determinedly and unflinchingly.]
To hear that you like me also... It's more than I could ever hope for. Saying that, I was sure I'd be rejected, but...
...Maizono-san. [He smiles, wide and warm, and his eyes might just be a little watery.] You have no idea... How happy I am right now. How long I dreamed that you might say something like that to me...
I know things are really scary and uncertain right now... I want to be with you, even in spite of that, and I never imagined that you would accept me, but...
If you'll have me, Maizono-san, my heart belongs to you.
[In spite of the pause, his voice leaves no room for doubt. He's red-faced, but Naegi looks at her determinedly and unflinchingly.]
To hear that you like me also... It's more than I could ever hope for. Saying that, I was sure I'd be rejected, but...
...Maizono-san. [He smiles, wide and warm, and his eyes might just be a little watery.] You have no idea... How happy I am right now. How long I dreamed that you might say something like that to me...
I know things are really scary and uncertain right now... I want to be with you, even in spite of that, and I never imagined that you would accept me, but...
If you'll have me, Maizono-san, my heart belongs to you.
[Naturally the reasons behind her words were not what Ruruka was assuming, but for the moment Seiko remained oblivious to just what was going through the others mind at present. Yes she expected the anger and resentment, but for the confectioner to think of her as arrogant regarding the worth of anothers talent, that would have come as a surprise. Even if the complex was one of Ruruka's own making, the idea that she had contributed to it in any way, even through ignorance or misunderstanding would have hit her hard. She wasn't going to claim that she was blameless in this whole mess, but looking back, she could at least say she tried right? That she did everything possible to make it work? She could at least be confident about that, surely?]
[Then again...no. That was wrong. The fact that she was doing something new now, something she didn't try before when it came to mending the cracks in their relationship before they were beyond repair. That proved she hadn't been open enough, hadn't exhausted every effort, why? Because she was scared? She didn't want to be hurt, betrayed again? She was unwilling to risk her feelings lest she fail, this time unable to put herself back together again into a semi functioning human being? She certainly had made little effort to reach too far since then, connect with people on a deeper level of personal trust. Sure she hadn't been mistreated, used, but was she really any better off? How little she knew that despite her insistence to the contrary, she and Ruruka had turned out more alike through the misunderstanding than she would have cared to admit.]
[Really though, was it truly a surprise anymore? It was pretty much a pattern in her life that she had tried and failed to shake, one blunder after another that had ended up costing her and those around her dearly. She didn't combat the sleeping gas immediately, and when they awoke they found Yukizome killed. She hadn't been perceptive enough to have a full working antidote on hand, and for that error Bandai had died. Hell she couldn't even save both dogs that day in the rain! And now, realizing there had been a way she could have reached her former friend back then that could have prevented everything that had transpired between them since, that was another failure she had to add to the tally. All that supposed effort, wasted. People continuing to breath their last around her, how many could she have prevented? She had this talent, but what good was it if she couldn't save everyone with it?!]
[Ruruka had praised it back then, at least respected it enough to know its use. Why else would she keep asking for those favors? And yet despite that people continued to die around her. Clearly the talent should have gone to someone more capable of using it.]
[Well, it was no good to anyone now. It was gone, and so was she, unable to make any difference, good or bad in the world of the living any longer. Still, here there was something she could do, something she had been unable to back then due to her own fear and foolishness. Whatever the result, she would act on it now, because at least it would make some sort of impact, regardless of whether it was positive or negative. At least then she could say she tried everything, and hoped that it was finally enough.]
[Letting the piece of candy roll around the inside of her mouth, she waited a moment before chewing, trying to assess the flavor. Considering how long she had been carrying it around, you'd think it would have gone stale long ago, that all the taste would have drained out out it with time, leaving it as just a blob of dried out sugar and syrup that would cause issues for the pharmacist later when it got stuck in her braces. But no, that wasn't the case. Maybe it was because Seiko had never consumed anything made from the artificial sweetness before and she simply didn't know any better, but...well, to her it was still as she expected, hoped it to be and more, because the feelings of the person who gave it to her had preserved all the wonderful taste within.]
[Needless to say, she wasn't sure what to expect from the other girls reaction. It was good of course that she didn't need to explain, that she too recognized the candy and it's significance. However, she was still caught off guard by the question. True, she had every reason to throw it away, toss it into a beaker of chemicals and watch it dissolve into nothing, stamp it under her heel with scorn, but she never could. Why? There were lengthy explanations, essays worth of words that she could let spill out to try and explain what she had for so many years not entirely understood herself. And yet, looking at Ruruka's face, the wrapper in her hand, all that came to was that last moment, that last thought before she fell into the depths of despair.]
Because...I just wanted to be friends.
[I acknowledge you. I care about you. I trust you.]
[She had to be careful, she was still eating, and didn't wish to waste even a morsel of the tiny confection, ducking her head to try and focus on the taste on her tongue. So this was candy; bubbling, fizzing sweetness that was like a firecracker going off inside your mouth, the sensation making your tastebuds tingle with warmth. It was bright, sparkling, the flavor of pink cheeks, bright eyes and happy smiles. Love, friendship, hope, all in one mouthful, so overwhelming that she felt her chest might burst! Until it all slowly released, coming back through her throat, filling her mouth and nose, and eventually her eyes to the point were they stung and started to leak, just as she lifted her head to give her verdict.]
It's good...[Her voice was choked now, overcome with sugary warmth as her cheeks grew wet as tears flowed freely, her whole body fizzing. And for the first time in a long while, she found the corners of her lips perking up into a smile.] It tastes...really good Ruruka.
[Then again...no. That was wrong. The fact that she was doing something new now, something she didn't try before when it came to mending the cracks in their relationship before they were beyond repair. That proved she hadn't been open enough, hadn't exhausted every effort, why? Because she was scared? She didn't want to be hurt, betrayed again? She was unwilling to risk her feelings lest she fail, this time unable to put herself back together again into a semi functioning human being? She certainly had made little effort to reach too far since then, connect with people on a deeper level of personal trust. Sure she hadn't been mistreated, used, but was she really any better off? How little she knew that despite her insistence to the contrary, she and Ruruka had turned out more alike through the misunderstanding than she would have cared to admit.]
[Really though, was it truly a surprise anymore? It was pretty much a pattern in her life that she had tried and failed to shake, one blunder after another that had ended up costing her and those around her dearly. She didn't combat the sleeping gas immediately, and when they awoke they found Yukizome killed. She hadn't been perceptive enough to have a full working antidote on hand, and for that error Bandai had died. Hell she couldn't even save both dogs that day in the rain! And now, realizing there had been a way she could have reached her former friend back then that could have prevented everything that had transpired between them since, that was another failure she had to add to the tally. All that supposed effort, wasted. People continuing to breath their last around her, how many could she have prevented? She had this talent, but what good was it if she couldn't save everyone with it?!]
[Ruruka had praised it back then, at least respected it enough to know its use. Why else would she keep asking for those favors? And yet despite that people continued to die around her. Clearly the talent should have gone to someone more capable of using it.]
[Well, it was no good to anyone now. It was gone, and so was she, unable to make any difference, good or bad in the world of the living any longer. Still, here there was something she could do, something she had been unable to back then due to her own fear and foolishness. Whatever the result, she would act on it now, because at least it would make some sort of impact, regardless of whether it was positive or negative. At least then she could say she tried everything, and hoped that it was finally enough.]
[Letting the piece of candy roll around the inside of her mouth, she waited a moment before chewing, trying to assess the flavor. Considering how long she had been carrying it around, you'd think it would have gone stale long ago, that all the taste would have drained out out it with time, leaving it as just a blob of dried out sugar and syrup that would cause issues for the pharmacist later when it got stuck in her braces. But no, that wasn't the case. Maybe it was because Seiko had never consumed anything made from the artificial sweetness before and she simply didn't know any better, but...well, to her it was still as she expected, hoped it to be and more, because the feelings of the person who gave it to her had preserved all the wonderful taste within.]
[Needless to say, she wasn't sure what to expect from the other girls reaction. It was good of course that she didn't need to explain, that she too recognized the candy and it's significance. However, she was still caught off guard by the question. True, she had every reason to throw it away, toss it into a beaker of chemicals and watch it dissolve into nothing, stamp it under her heel with scorn, but she never could. Why? There were lengthy explanations, essays worth of words that she could let spill out to try and explain what she had for so many years not entirely understood herself. And yet, looking at Ruruka's face, the wrapper in her hand, all that came to was that last moment, that last thought before she fell into the depths of despair.]
Because...I just wanted to be friends.
[I acknowledge you. I care about you. I trust you.]
[She had to be careful, she was still eating, and didn't wish to waste even a morsel of the tiny confection, ducking her head to try and focus on the taste on her tongue. So this was candy; bubbling, fizzing sweetness that was like a firecracker going off inside your mouth, the sensation making your tastebuds tingle with warmth. It was bright, sparkling, the flavor of pink cheeks, bright eyes and happy smiles. Love, friendship, hope, all in one mouthful, so overwhelming that she felt her chest might burst! Until it all slowly released, coming back through her throat, filling her mouth and nose, and eventually her eyes to the point were they stung and started to leak, just as she lifted her head to give her verdict.]
It's good...[Her voice was choked now, overcome with sugary warmth as her cheeks grew wet as tears flowed freely, her whole body fizzing. And for the first time in a long while, she found the corners of her lips perking up into a smile.] It tastes...really good Ruruka.
...Sayaka. [ The entire time he speaks, she says nothing, but it's her little correction that finally breaks her silence. There's an embarrassed smile on her lips as she says that, and she can't stop herself from feeling giddy - especially after hearing him say something like that. His heart belongs to her...she never would've imagined someone - least of all, Naegi - saying those words to her, so she's elated beyond belief. ]
If...If we're going to start dating, Naegi-kun, then...I want you to call me by my given name.
[ It's a privilege she would've granted him a long time ago, but...this opportunity is more fitting instead, isn't it? She had never wanted to overstep her boundaries, lest he didn't feel the same way, but to know that their feelings for each other were reciprocated...there was no better time than now to step out of formalities. ]
I'm happy to hear that your heart belongs to me, and the same goes for me as well. You might not believe it, and it's a little embarrassing to admit, but...I've never had a boyfriend before. [ Though, it wasn't all that surprising, what with her status as an idol. To have a boyfriend would surely rouse scandals and tarnish her "pristine" image. It didn't matter now while they were locked in the school, but...she didn't know what would happen next if they were rescued and could return to the public.
...She supposed she'd cross that bridge when she got there. ] Therefore, I'm not very certain on how dating works...but I promise you I'll do my best to become your Super High School Level Girlfriend. Ehehe!
If...If we're going to start dating, Naegi-kun, then...I want you to call me by my given name.
[ It's a privilege she would've granted him a long time ago, but...this opportunity is more fitting instead, isn't it? She had never wanted to overstep her boundaries, lest he didn't feel the same way, but to know that their feelings for each other were reciprocated...there was no better time than now to step out of formalities. ]
I'm happy to hear that your heart belongs to me, and the same goes for me as well. You might not believe it, and it's a little embarrassing to admit, but...I've never had a boyfriend before. [ Though, it wasn't all that surprising, what with her status as an idol. To have a boyfriend would surely rouse scandals and tarnish her "pristine" image. It didn't matter now while they were locked in the school, but...she didn't know what would happen next if they were rescued and could return to the public.
...She supposed she'd cross that bridge when she got there. ] Therefore, I'm not very certain on how dating works...but I promise you I'll do my best to become your Super High School Level Girlfriend. Ehehe!
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