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Entry tags:
cmo/open post
【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.
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【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.
【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.
【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.
no subject
[That being said, she wasn't wrong. There were no longer health reasons barring her from consuming sweets. Unfortunately, it was now something must worse preventing her doing so.]
No. I could... [A moment to breathe, to calm herself, looking for a flash like the awkward school girl who'd just sigh and relent, before disappearing in a flash. The person who stared back at the confectioner was far more sure of herself, regretful but firm.] ...but I don't want to.
[It would be seen as an excuse regardless of what she said, but nevertheless, it was finally time for to actually speak up. Not run away, not ignore the matter or cave it, but to be blunt and honest, even if that meant all but slapping the other Ultimate right across the across the face with words that would undoubtedly sting.]
There's no point. Anything you gave me now...I know it would taste completely sour.
[Her words were sharp, assured and unflinching, and she knew all too well they would hurt Ruruka. However, it was the truth, and her tone told that she took no pleasure in revealing that fact to her. No matter how carefully she might have prepared whatever treat she was still carrying on her now, Seiko knew she would not be able to appreciate it. She could already imagine the void where the sweetness was supposed to be, a stimulation of the taste buds she had never known due to her inability to digest sugar. Instead of the fizzing buzz of a rush, she anticipated a dull tang that would cause her features to scrunch up as she tried to swallow.]
[This was not because of any mistake on the confectioners part on the technical side of her baking, but rather the resounding impact of all that had happened. All the toil, outbursts and blame had left their friendship as little more than a husk, a baked good with no sweetness, light texture or delicious flavor, but something dry and stale that crumbled in your mouth and made you choke. Anything she was given now would be handed to her by a Ruruka that she didn't really know, one that now only offered her something to prove and point and satisfy her own wishes. She had dreamed for a long time about what it would be like if she ever got to experience the taste of sugar and what it could create, and more than anything she had wanted her first bite to be of a treat the person closest to her made, just for her to enjoy.]
[Fortunately, she did have something left by that Ruruka, the Ruruka who had been someone she trusted, the Ruruka who had given her something pure, innocent and brimming over with sweetness born of sugar and wish to forge a friendship that could possibly last forever. And so she pulled out the lone candy from her pocket, the shiny paper still somehow catching the light in a way that looked enticing, even though by now it should have lost all flavor. Yes, a sweet that she had clung on to for well over a decade, even after their falling out, would still contain all the sensations to delight her pallet, of that she was convinced, because it was given to her by her dearest friend who wanted to give a token of fondness to a sad little girl who couldn't stop crying in the rain that day.]
Good thing I kept this then. [This might not have been the assurance Ruruka was expecting, or even what she wanted, but Seiko felt this was the right thing, the best thing she could give the confectioner. This wasn't just about showing her willingness now she was dead, but how she had always been willing, ready and waiting and clutching that piece of candy like something to treasure. Because for her, it was.]
[Her first gift from her first friend, ready for the occasion when she could give the acknowledgement Ruruka wanted so badly, even if in truth she had actually had it all along. It was that candy she wanted to eat first, carefully unwrapping it and bringing it to her lips, unwavering and without hesitation, intending to let it slip into her mouth before the other girl had the chance to say anymore. Regardless of whether or not their friendship could begin anew or be put to rest, it would all end then and there one her mouth closed and she started to chew.]
no subject
Ruruka grits her teeth, livid at the girl's insolence; though, in retrospect, she supposes it isn't too surprising. She had always suspected that the girl thought little of her talent, thought of her as inferior, so to her, this was merely a truth that was only now coming to light. Not that it made her any less furious, but she could at least commend Seiko for finally owning up to it instead of hiding behind her excuses. If anything, this made her feel justified in distrusting Seiko, in never truly opening up to her like she would with her boyfriend. If she had, then it would have all been for naught.
Before she can open her mouth to spit back a remark, Seiko says something else that really fuels her the burning flames of her anger. Ruruka goes red in the face, fists clenched tightly in a futile effort to compose herself and restrain herself from spewing venom at the pharmacist. She had never been a physically violent person - her tongue was sharp enough that she never needed to resort to violence, and she had Izayoi to fight in her stead when it truly came down to it - but right now, she wanted nothing more than to grab the girl and...and...
...Well, it wasn't as if insulting the girl's talent like she had done to her would be effective. Seiko actually had a talent that was worthwhile, unlike her, and it was something that she hadn't taken notice of until all three of them had started attending Hope's Peak Academy. Where it had initially been sadness that her friend couldn't partake in her sweets, it quickly developed into an inferiority complex, fueled by Hope's Peak's constant pressures and reminders of the importance of talent. It was the reason why she loathed Hope's Peak Academy just as much as she loathed the Future Foundation - they both were corrupt organizations, and the former was the source of most of her insecurities by its relentless drilling that her talent defined her.
Ruruka had grown to believe that; that was why she spent so much time trying to perfect her pastries, but even then, she never felt confident enough. Why else would she go to Seiko asking her for various drugs that would enhance her sweets and ensure that she passed the practical exams every year? The one and only thing she was good at, she didn't even feel confident about. That was why Seiko's words...stung, and Ruruka didn't know how to feel. She felt angry, undoubtedly, but she also felt the crushing despair of her inhibitions as they resurfaced.
"Why...?" she wants to ask. "Why do you still refuse to eat my sweets?! Why the hell are you acting like this?!" Before she can vocalize such thoughts, however, she hears Seiko speak again, saying something that truly shocks her. Ruruka glances over to see what exactly the "this" that the girl specified was, and when she sees the girl produce the candy that she had given her all those years ago, her eyes widen and she stiffens like a deer in headlights. ] Y-You...You kept it... [ She says it shakily, voice full of incredulity. She had expected the girl to have thrown it away by now - especially after their falling out. It would have made sense if she did. She never expected for her to carry it on her person this entire time.
Then, she sees the girl put it in her mouth. For the very first time, the person she had once considered her dear friend, the person she wanted nothing else from but for her to taste her sweets, was actually eating her candy. Ruruka doesn't know how to respond, sitting there shell-shocked, and if she were alive right now, her heart would be racing inside of her chest. What she feels now is similar to that very feeling: dizzy and breathless. ]
I-I-- I don't-- [ She stammers over her words, and she's certain she sounds like an utter fool compared to the collected persona she usually tries to convey, but she's too bewildered to truly care about saving face right now. ] B-But why... Why, after all this time, would you keep it...? You had every reason to get rid of it, so why didn't you?! I thought you-- I...I don't understand...
[ The very fact that Seiko had kept this piece of candy from their first meeting all this time goes completely against everything that Ruruka had believed about the girl. ]
no subject
[Then again...no. That was wrong. The fact that she was doing something new now, something she didn't try before when it came to mending the cracks in their relationship before they were beyond repair. That proved she hadn't been open enough, hadn't exhausted every effort, why? Because she was scared? She didn't want to be hurt, betrayed again? She was unwilling to risk her feelings lest she fail, this time unable to put herself back together again into a semi functioning human being? She certainly had made little effort to reach too far since then, connect with people on a deeper level of personal trust. Sure she hadn't been mistreated, used, but was she really any better off? How little she knew that despite her insistence to the contrary, she and Ruruka had turned out more alike through the misunderstanding than she would have cared to admit.]
[Really though, was it truly a surprise anymore? It was pretty much a pattern in her life that she had tried and failed to shake, one blunder after another that had ended up costing her and those around her dearly. She didn't combat the sleeping gas immediately, and when they awoke they found Yukizome killed. She hadn't been perceptive enough to have a full working antidote on hand, and for that error Bandai had died. Hell she couldn't even save both dogs that day in the rain! And now, realizing there had been a way she could have reached her former friend back then that could have prevented everything that had transpired between them since, that was another failure she had to add to the tally. All that supposed effort, wasted. People continuing to breath their last around her, how many could she have prevented? She had this talent, but what good was it if she couldn't save everyone with it?!]
[Ruruka had praised it back then, at least respected it enough to know its use. Why else would she keep asking for those favors? And yet despite that people continued to die around her. Clearly the talent should have gone to someone more capable of using it.]
[Well, it was no good to anyone now. It was gone, and so was she, unable to make any difference, good or bad in the world of the living any longer. Still, here there was something she could do, something she had been unable to back then due to her own fear and foolishness. Whatever the result, she would act on it now, because at least it would make some sort of impact, regardless of whether it was positive or negative. At least then she could say she tried everything, and hoped that it was finally enough.]
[Letting the piece of candy roll around the inside of her mouth, she waited a moment before chewing, trying to assess the flavor. Considering how long she had been carrying it around, you'd think it would have gone stale long ago, that all the taste would have drained out out it with time, leaving it as just a blob of dried out sugar and syrup that would cause issues for the pharmacist later when it got stuck in her braces. But no, that wasn't the case. Maybe it was because Seiko had never consumed anything made from the artificial sweetness before and she simply didn't know any better, but...well, to her it was still as she expected, hoped it to be and more, because the feelings of the person who gave it to her had preserved all the wonderful taste within.]
[Needless to say, she wasn't sure what to expect from the other girls reaction. It was good of course that she didn't need to explain, that she too recognized the candy and it's significance. However, she was still caught off guard by the question. True, she had every reason to throw it away, toss it into a beaker of chemicals and watch it dissolve into nothing, stamp it under her heel with scorn, but she never could. Why? There were lengthy explanations, essays worth of words that she could let spill out to try and explain what she had for so many years not entirely understood herself. And yet, looking at Ruruka's face, the wrapper in her hand, all that came to was that last moment, that last thought before she fell into the depths of despair.]
Because...I just wanted to be friends.
[I acknowledge you. I care about you. I trust you.]
[She had to be careful, she was still eating, and didn't wish to waste even a morsel of the tiny confection, ducking her head to try and focus on the taste on her tongue. So this was candy; bubbling, fizzing sweetness that was like a firecracker going off inside your mouth, the sensation making your tastebuds tingle with warmth. It was bright, sparkling, the flavor of pink cheeks, bright eyes and happy smiles. Love, friendship, hope, all in one mouthful, so overwhelming that she felt her chest might burst! Until it all slowly released, coming back through her throat, filling her mouth and nose, and eventually her eyes to the point were they stung and started to leak, just as she lifted her head to give her verdict.]
It's good...[Her voice was choked now, overcome with sugary warmth as her cheeks grew wet as tears flowed freely, her whole body fizzing. And for the first time in a long while, she found the corners of her lips perking up into a smile.] It tastes...really good Ruruka.
no subject
Seiko had said something along those lines earlier, but Ruruka had simply dismissed it, thinking it wasn't true. It's only now that she realizes she was mistaken--no, that she had been mistaken this entire time. All this time she harbored misconceptions about their friendship, misconceptions that she allowed to flood her mind and corrupt what had once been a pure, genuine bond into something vile and twisted.
Had she known Seiko carried that piece of candy with her all this time, would things have turned out differently between them...? If she had known that her friend truly did care about her the way that she did in return, would they have remained friends? Would they have remained in Hope's Peak? Even if they were still expelled, at the very least, they would've had each other - her, Seiko, and Izayoi. They had always been a trio ever since they were children, attending the same schools from elementary to high school, and Ruruka had always wanted that to stay the same.
She didn't want either of her dearest persons to ever leave her side, but in the end, she ended up losing them both, didn't she? And she had no one to blame but herself. It was all her fault. She had been so scared of betrayal, of the ones she loved so dearly betraying her, that she had become the traitor instead of them.
All this time she thought Seiko was the traitor, forcing the blame onto her instead of accepting it. She convinced herself that she was guiltless, that everything was Seiko's fault, but she had been wrong this entire time. All this time, she had been the traitor - something she never wanted to accept until now...no, even now it was something that she didn't want to accept, but she had no other choice.
You're the traitor, Ruruka. It's all your fault. You betrayed us.
It was a harsh truth that she couldn't run away from. It was a battle that she couldn't have someone fight in her stead. For the first time in her life, she could do nothing but accept it.
You caused us to die. Why does a filthy traitor like you deserve to live?
She didn't, did she? Why was she the one left alive when neither of them deserved death...? She was a despicable person who committed terrible actions; she was the one who was truly subhuman. And yet...
Do you want to be forgiven? Do you want us to forgive you?
Yes. Yes she did. She wanted nothing more to be forgiven, to have a second chance, to finally be able to make things right when she couldn't before. She'd do anything...
...Then, you know what you must do.
And she did. The knife had dropped, and without even thinking about her actions, she had gripped it, punctured every part of her body that she possibly could while sobbing out apologies, begging for Izayoi and Seiko to forgive her for betraying them, that she never wanted it to end like this and that she was sorry. It hurt...It hurt so much. She couldn't take the pain, yet she couldn't stop until she earned their forgiveness. That's why she inflicted so many wounds on herself, and yet that was still not enough...so she had choked herself on her candies instead, cutting off her air flow to the point she became lightheaded, and allowed herself to suffer until the figments of her best friends were finally satisfied.
We forgive you, Ruruka. It's okay, come join us. We can be together again just like before.
Her hands were wavering as she pointed the dagger towards her heart, but the next line was all she needed to steel herself.
We can be friends again.
Then, she wound up here. It didn't take a genius to piece together what had happened; she had killed herself, wracked with despair, and those very same feelings were crushing her now. Hearing Seiko tell her that her candy was good...that was all she ever wanted, and yet, she couldn't feel happiness from finally hearing what she had been waiting all along for. They only made her feel worse for how terribly she treated the other girl, for all the cruel things she had said to her face, but she knew what she had to do. She may have repented to the imaginary versions of her friends, but she had yet to make it up to the actual ones.
She didn't know if she would ever get the chance to apologize to Izayoi, but at the very least, she was granted the chance to apologize to Seiko. Perhaps that was the true reason that they both were here - for Seiko to tell her the only thing she had wanted to hear all along, and for Ruruka to tell Seiko something that she should have told her a long time ago: an apology. ] K-Kimura... [ She starts, her voice unusually quiet, before she shakes her head, correcting herself: ] ...No. ...S-Seiko-chan. I...
[ She hesitates, taking a deep breath. She's never shown this degree of vulnerability before to anyone but one person, but she can't back down now. ]
...I-I'm sorry.