[ "That's not true," a part of her wants to say, but...even she knows that she can't deny that. Perhaps at one point in time that wasn't true - when they were children whose friendship was pure and untainted - but in their later years, when their friendship grew into something corrupt and unrecognizable, Seiko eventually had become someone that she could use. Where her favors had initially been genuine and a sign of trust for the pharmacist, they had gradually become something that Ruruka took advantage of. Asking Seiko for her medicine had long since stopped eliciting happiness and appreciation from her because she knew that Seiko would always do what she asked; even the resistance the girl would occasionally put up would ultimately turn into submission.
And it just wasn't gratifying at all. Asking Seiko for favors was an entirely different feeling than when she asked Izayoi for favors - perhaps because her relationship with her boyfriend was the give-and-take relationship that she yearned for with Seiko. Any time Izayoi did anything for her, she could always reward him with her sweets - a sign of her gratitude; after all, she put so much time and effort into everything she baked that she felt it was more sufficient than the simple words "thank you" - and to hear his affirmations of how "dewicious" they were and see the radiance of his face, something that only she could detect in his otherwise stoic countenance, as he indulged in them was all that she could ever ask for. That was all she wanted - someone who made her feel like she had worth, someone who made her feel like she had something she could be proud of, someone who would revel in her pride and joy - and no matter how much Seiko gave her, she could never give her the one thing that she longed for. No matter what or how much Ruruka asked her for, it would never fill the void of the only thing she wanted from her friend: assurance.
...Which makes her falter at the girl's question: would Seiko killing herself finally give her what she wanted? She honestly couldn't say. It was a question that made her feel conflicted; on one hand, she would be happy that Seiko at least tried her sweets instead of declining them like always, but on the other hand...she wouldn't want to see her friend die before her eyes. Even when she and Izayoi confronted her that day with the intention to kill her, a part of her didn't want Seiko to die. She didn't wish ill on the pharmacist at all; no matter how much she would berate her and call her a traitor, she always regretted the way that things turned out between them and yearned for everything to return to the way it was when they had been children. ]
Well, there's nothing stopping you now, is there.
[ It's not a question; it's more of an accusation, as if she still thinks that Seiko is fishing for excuses, fabricating reasons to turn down her sweets. It wouldn't be wrong to say that either. In her mind, if Seiko truly would have eaten her sweets if she had the ability, then what better time to prove it than now since they were both dead? This was the moment for Seiko to prove that she had truly considered her a friend like she claimed. She crosses her arms, glaring up at Seiko, unperturbed by the fact that the girl had been yelling at her moments ago. It's a wonder that she's not yelling back, really. ]
You're fully capable of eating my sweets now. Or are you going to blame it on your medicine again? [ Here, she does an impression of Seiko, not at all hiding the fact that she's mocking the girl: ] "O-Oh...I'm so sorry, Ruruka. I-I can't eat your sweets b-because it reacts badly with my medicine...i-if I eat them, I'll die!"
[ She gives an exaggerated sigh and rolls her eyes. ]
Honestly, I'm so sick of hearing that excuse. If you're going to make one up this time to explain why you can't, the least you can do is make it original. [ She scoffs and shakes her head. ] Unless you want to delude yourself into thinking that the dead is capable of having allergic reactions and dying a second time, then be my guest. It wouldn't be the first time you came up with something so far-fetched.
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And it just wasn't gratifying at all. Asking Seiko for favors was an entirely different feeling than when she asked Izayoi for favors - perhaps because her relationship with her boyfriend was the give-and-take relationship that she yearned for with Seiko. Any time Izayoi did anything for her, she could always reward him with her sweets - a sign of her gratitude; after all, she put so much time and effort into everything she baked that she felt it was more sufficient than the simple words "thank you" - and to hear his affirmations of how "dewicious" they were and see the radiance of his face, something that only she could detect in his otherwise stoic countenance, as he indulged in them was all that she could ever ask for. That was all she wanted - someone who made her feel like she had worth, someone who made her feel like she had something she could be proud of, someone who would revel in her pride and joy - and no matter how much Seiko gave her, she could never give her the one thing that she longed for. No matter what or how much Ruruka asked her for, it would never fill the void of the only thing she wanted from her friend: assurance.
...Which makes her falter at the girl's question: would Seiko killing herself finally give her what she wanted? She honestly couldn't say. It was a question that made her feel conflicted; on one hand, she would be happy that Seiko at least tried her sweets instead of declining them like always, but on the other hand...she wouldn't want to see her friend die before her eyes. Even when she and Izayoi confronted her that day with the intention to kill her, a part of her didn't want Seiko to die. She didn't wish ill on the pharmacist at all; no matter how much she would berate her and call her a traitor, she always regretted the way that things turned out between them and yearned for everything to return to the way it was when they had been children. ]
Well, there's nothing stopping you now, is there.
[ It's not a question; it's more of an accusation, as if she still thinks that Seiko is fishing for excuses, fabricating reasons to turn down her sweets. It wouldn't be wrong to say that either. In her mind, if Seiko truly would have eaten her sweets if she had the ability, then what better time to prove it than now since they were both dead? This was the moment for Seiko to prove that she had truly considered her a friend like she claimed. She crosses her arms, glaring up at Seiko, unperturbed by the fact that the girl had been yelling at her moments ago. It's a wonder that she's not yelling back, really. ]
You're fully capable of eating my sweets now. Or are you going to blame it on your medicine again? [ Here, she does an impression of Seiko, not at all hiding the fact that she's mocking the girl: ] "O-Oh...I'm so sorry, Ruruka. I-I can't eat your sweets b-because it reacts badly with my medicine...i-if I eat them, I'll die!"
[ She gives an exaggerated sigh and rolls her eyes. ]
Honestly, I'm so sick of hearing that excuse. If you're going to make one up this time to explain why you can't, the least you can do is make it original. [ She scoffs and shakes her head. ] Unless you want to delude yourself into thinking that the dead is capable of having allergic reactions and dying a second time, then be my guest. It wouldn't be the first time you came up with something so far-fetched.