[In the same respect, she couldn't entirely begrudge them wanting her dead either. Ruruka might have been shouting abuse, but she was the one who had lost it first. She had downed those pills, pushed her body to its limits, transforming it into something capable of killing her two former classmates, and all because she couldn't keep her temper in check. Years of suppressing bitterness and resentment would do that to you, but really, if she had just turned away one more time, just let it slide until the game ended, things might have turned out differently. Hindsight was rather frustrating in that respect, letting you see all your foolish mistakes and how much they had cost you.]
[That did make her think though; had there been another way? Was there something she could have done all those years ago to prevent this horrible outcome? Had anything in their friendship been salvageable after a certain point? Sure, when they were little kids, innocent and genuine, the bond had been real. Of course, once they had made their terms clear, things had changed, and from there, their fate was inevitable. She had relied on Ruruka too much, bending over backwards to please her to desperately secure their friendship, so glad to have someone care about her. Naturally, the confectioner must have eventually realized what a good thing she had, and exploited Kimura for all she was worth. That was how it played out in her mind at least. It never crossed Seiko's mind her friend had anything to envy in her. She was pretty, well liked, could socialize with just about anyone she liked, while the pharmacist was always the weird, creepy girl with the mask and braces. Ruruka calling someone like her a friend was a big deal, and she wanted to show her gratitude as best she could, especially when her medication meant she could never taste the candy the other girl enjoyed making so much.]
[She had done everything her friend had asked of her bar that one task, and yet it apparently still wasn't enough to earn her trust. She had fulfilled every other request, why would she say no unless she had a truly important reason to do so? Or did she just want her to die to prove her loyalty? Even that probably wouldn't have been enough!]
To betray someone you have to have their trust in the first place. But you...you never trusted me anyway, did you?
[If she had, then surely she would have asked questions, listened to her side of the story before immediately assuming the worst. It just proved how little Ruruka knew about her, how little she valued her. She was a tool to be taken advantage of, nothing more.]
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[That did make her think though; had there been another way? Was there something she could have done all those years ago to prevent this horrible outcome? Had anything in their friendship been salvageable after a certain point? Sure, when they were little kids, innocent and genuine, the bond had been real. Of course, once they had made their terms clear, things had changed, and from there, their fate was inevitable. She had relied on Ruruka too much, bending over backwards to please her to desperately secure their friendship, so glad to have someone care about her. Naturally, the confectioner must have eventually realized what a good thing she had, and exploited Kimura for all she was worth. That was how it played out in her mind at least. It never crossed Seiko's mind her friend had anything to envy in her. She was pretty, well liked, could socialize with just about anyone she liked, while the pharmacist was always the weird, creepy girl with the mask and braces. Ruruka calling someone like her a friend was a big deal, and she wanted to show her gratitude as best she could, especially when her medication meant she could never taste the candy the other girl enjoyed making so much.]
[She had done everything her friend had asked of her bar that one task, and yet it apparently still wasn't enough to earn her trust. She had fulfilled every other request, why would she say no unless she had a truly important reason to do so? Or did she just want her to die to prove her loyalty? Even that probably wouldn't have been enough!]
To betray someone you have to have their trust in the first place. But you...you never trusted me anyway, did you?
[If she had, then surely she would have asked questions, listened to her side of the story before immediately assuming the worst. It just proved how little Ruruka knew about her, how little she valued her. She was a tool to be taken advantage of, nothing more.]